First conscious moments of age 40:
Waking from a dream in which there was a new kind of weather. The sky was filled with three-dimensional clouds that took their shape and design from the frost patterns you see on window panes. It was somewhat Tim Burtonesque. Very beautiful.
Then I woke up and spanked (just one quick butt smack) my Eddie Haskell of a cat for being obnoxious.
If he thinks you're sleeping too long, he will find something that really really annoys you and just keep doing it until you get up.
For a while it was systematically pushing things off my dresser with his paw. One earring..scooot...drop...roll. Another earring...scoot...drop...roll. Coins, pencils, a book. Jerk.
Then he decided that rabbit-kicking whatever cat was sleeping beside me was good sport.If that didn't work, he'd pull on the window shades or slowly scratch the wallpaper.
Now he's discovered the living room closet doors. They're the sliding kind; two panels; unattached at the floor. So he hooks a paw underneath and pulls them out and lets them drop back which makes a deep thumping sound.
I thank God I am not parent to his human equivalent. He is completely irresistable and completely full of it. I would probably have to let him join a band.