Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Saying a proper goodbye

A friend of mine just had his aged dog put down today. Very emotional. I can't even imagine how I'll get through that when the time comes for my dogs to go.

But the news reminded me of an issue over which I've been conflicted for like three or four years now.

I used to be close friends with a girl a few years back and during the course of our friendship, her dog grew ill and had to be put down.
I stood by her during the downhill slide and was with her and her dog on the fateful day.

My friend gave me a ziploc bagful of the dog's ashes to dispose of in my own personal way and at the time I pictured the ashes going in my garden or at the base of a tree or something.
I put it off, wanting just the perfect thing and during the time I put it off, my friend and I fell out.

So fast-forward to three years later and I still have this bag of beloved doggie ashes and I haven't spoken to said friend in the time that has passed.

What do I do?

I harbor absolutely no ill feelings for my ex-friend. I liked her.
I liked her dog too.
I feel honored that I have some ashes and that I was there physically and emotionally for the final moments.

But what do I do?

It's too late and too weird to send the ashes back to her. Plus I don't even know where I would mail them to.
I might move from this house in a year or so, so anything I do here would be, in my opinion, a sort of waste. Plus the dog never had any significant memories in my yard.

I'm thinking I might go over to to her old apartment complex and shake them out on the lawn.

That sounds ok.

I just want rid of this responsibility and these remains. I want to honor the dog and put this chapter to rest.

P.S. My husband is supremely unsympathetic and atheistic and says so what? He probably has a point.
I maintain that a bit of decorum is required.

1 comment:

henry metcalfe said...

My ex-wife (we still get on...in fact better now) Keeps the little casket on a table near the tv. It's a really nice casket - carved wood and actually quite small. I'd be sorry if she threw the ashes away. Anyways..the dog in question was not responsible for your friend and yourself falling out (I hope that he was not consigned to the dustbin) Why not plant a crocus in the garden and use his ashes to line the hole.