Friday, September 28, 2007

I'm onto them

Ever meet someone who you wouldn't be a bit surprised to learn was an alien?

We've got this couple that's been visiting our store for a few years now. I forget where they are from, but it's another state. Maybe north originally. Maybe Florida now.
They are both probably in their mid-sixties.

The woman is small and thin, has a complexion like a wad of clay sprayed down with olive oil. She always wears this hat that reminds me of an Edwardian newsboy. It's dark blue or charcoal with a longer brim.
She is loud and exuberant and exclaims over everything.

The man is tall with thin legs and arms, but a nice large protruding gut. He always wears a silky shiny football jersey with three quarter length sleeves and shorts. His hair is gray and cut into a weird Prince Valiant style, but longer.
He is a chronic mutterer; always having his own private hilarious eurekas.

They tell me that they have a singing act that they do in retirement homes. One of them plays piano and they both sing old-fashioned popular tunes.
They're always telling me retirement home anecdotes. I used to encourage it, but I try to hurry them up nowadays.

They are so oddly "off". Always benign and upbeat. Always in character. Very much "Third Rock From the Sun".

I think if we did have aliens among us; they would mainly be like these folks, although I would hope that a few genius peacemakers would choose to make the trip as well.


henry metcalfe said...

I disagreed then I agreed. I'm slow

Appalachian Feminist Breeder said...

I adore this post. I only hope to be in the store when they next visit!

retirement communities new york said...

That is possible, but I prefer to believe their stories. Perhaps they just don't have much to talk about and would like to preserve your perceived personality of them?

hospice care said...

Well, I'm leaned towards them having a personality disorder, not really an extraterrestrial being.