Friday, April 13, 2007

X-Rated Spring Cleaning

So during my vacation, I engaged in some nesting activities such as cleaning out closets, pantries and my basement and throwing away superfluous stuff.

I started on the front hall closet and among other things, I pulled out an old binocular case I picked up at a garage sale.

I imagine the case at one time held some actual binoculars, but they had since been removed and lost to some other part of the house.

Out of instinct, I reached into the case to see what might be stuffed away inside and I pulled out a worn envelope.
Inside the envelope were about twenty photos. My first thought was that I had maybe used the case to hide away/protect some stuff of mine.
Um, that wasn't the case (no pun intended).
Twenty photos of some exhibitionist dude engaging in all manner of sexual activity.

I took the envelope to my husband with all sorts of OMG and "you should see this" chatter. He began looking at them and I could tell he was at first really scared that I might be, for some ungodly reason, showing him photos of my past exploits.
I quickly reassured him that I had nothing to do with said photos and we went through the batch until we came to an unexplicable one with a tell-tale cut out.

"Wonder what the cut-out was?" we asked ourselves. My husband said it was obviously the dude's dick. I fished around in the envelope and sure enough, there was the cut-out dick.
Talk about paper dolls.

We put the batch in the garbage and raced each other to the antibacterial soap.

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